Spring Break
'Real World' cast members prove stupid, yet funny for USC crowd
300 students hear Q&A session put on by Carolina Productions
Ellen Meder
Staff Writer
Issue date: 2/18/08 Section: The Mix
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When Dunbar, the 23-year-old bartender, and Cohutta, the 24-year-old construction worker/hick extraordinaire, took the stage to cacophonous, high-pitched squeals and shrieks of hundreds of lonely college girls, I sunk into my seat.
Initially, I thought the people who sit around watching "Real World" and then attend a Q & A show probably have no idea what it is like to be in a bar, the guys' natural habitat, but then the audience composition became clear. Dunbar spoke of how well the clinical psychologist producers typecast the show to ensure optimum cast friction, both in arguments and between the sheets. When he was shocked that he was chosen over a "crazy, slutty sorority girl who hates her dad," his next comment to the responsive audience was, "What? That's you?"
Having only watched one episode of this season of MTV's reality show about drunken delinquents, all I knew was that Dunbar seemed to enjoy forbidden sexual romps and intoxicated rages, while Cohutta displayed a caveman-like mentality such that, if he had gotten a cast-mate pregnant, he would have dragged her to the back hills of Georgia by her hair to marry her.
Dunbar's personality and intelligence are quickly explained by being an Ole Miss alumnus from Natchez, Miss. The archetypal frat boy enlightened us with his ultimate words of wisdom and one regret from his stay in the land down under: KYPIYP - Keep Your Penis In Your Pants.
Cohutta, however, with his slow drawl, was an embodiment of a Jeff Foxworthy punch line. Other than pronouncing "well" with two syllables, Cohutta enjoys cavorting with his pal "Gator," eating banana baby food, attempting to count to eight, getting roofied by rabid female fans and sharing the meaning of life: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gave vodka. Mix you some drinks and have a party."
At the very least, Carolina Productions helped the student body learn about Australia as a study abroad option. Apparently the continent is the "land of female full backs," where everyone truly reeks for lack of quality deodorant options (the Aussies really just need someone to "preach the gospel of Degree").
All I can say is that I genuinely walked away with a renewed sense of patriotism. Why shouldn't I be proud of a nation which is the "biggest, fastest, funnest, pertiest, tastiest, best-lookin', best-smellin' country in the world?" Especially given that thousands of youth spend hours observing the responsible travel habits of two upstanding young men like Dunbar and Cohutta with such religious fervor that they will flock to worship them on a Friday night?
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